In today’s fast-paced world, finding the right balance between work, family, and personal life remains a significant challenge, especially for women in male-dominated industries. Recent discussions shed light on the unique struggles many women face—balancing demanding careers with family responsibilities, managing the often invisible "mental load," and advocating for more supportive and inclusive work environments. Here's a recap of key insights from our recent virtual meet up with Toni Neary that explored these issues, along with actionable steps to promote a healthier work-life balance and foster more inclusive workplaces.
The Invisible Burden: Mental Load and Work-Life Balance
Toni kicked off the discussion by addressing the challenges women face when trying to juggle work and personal life. She emphasized the mental load women often carry—managing household tasks, children’s schedules, and emotional labor, all while maintaining a career. The mental load is the invisible weight that can leave many feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin.
She shared her own experiences of being a working mother, highlighting how work travel often impacted her time with family. For Toni, the key takeaway was that time with family is irreplaceable, and it's crucial to prioritize those moments. Balancing work and family life isn't just about scheduling, but also about evaluating career decisions based on their impact on overall well-being. She encouraged attendees to take a step back and think about the trade-offs of career advancements that could disrupt family time.
Advocacy and the Need for Flexible Work Environments
As the conversation progressed, Toni shifted focus to the broader issue of women's advocacy in the workplace. She shared her own journey as a woman in a male-dominated field, recalling how she struggled early in her career to find her voice and value beyond professional achievements. The importance of self-advocacy was a central theme in her talk. She stressed that women should not wait for someone to advocate for them; instead, they should proactively demand flexible work arrangements and fair policies, such as flexible paid time off (PTO), family leave, and health insurance benefits.
Toni also encouraged women to evaluate their work environments to ensure they are supportive of their personal and family goals. It’s not just about getting the job done; it’s about doing it in a setting where your contributions are recognized and your needs are supported.
Navigating Career Transitions for Family and Personal Growth
Another point Toni raised was the role of career transitions in shaping one’s work-life balance. She shared how an unexpected career shift allowed her to spend more time with her family and explore new personal interests. This transition, although unplanned, highlighted the value of taking time to reassess personal priorities and not just focusing on external achievements.
Toni emphasized that career changes or stepping back from high-pressure roles can be powerful tools for re-centering one’s life around family and personal growth. This requires courage, but the rewards—such as being more present at home—are often immeasurable.
The Importance of Supportive Relationships and Asking for Help
A significant part of balancing work and life is the support we get from those around us. Toni discussed the importance of supportive relationships—not just with family but also with friends and colleagues. She highlighted how having someone to help with errands, pick up groceries, or lend a hand during busy times can make a huge difference. Women often feel pressure to manage everything themselves, but Toni emphasized that asking for help is not only okay, it’s necessary for maintaining mental well-being.
Charli also raised an important point about the mental load—while it’s important to acknowledge it, it’s equally important to set realistic expectations and recognize that not everything has to be done perfectly. This idea of letting go—whether it's the perfectly planned family dinner or spotless house—is essential in maintaining balance.
Mentorship, Representation, and Inclusivity
Another core theme of the discussion was the need for representation and mentorship. Toni and Bekah shared their thoughts on the role diversity plays in fostering more inclusive and innovative work environments. They agreed that exposure to different perspectives reduces unconscious bias and promotes creativity in professional settings.
Toni suggested that LinkedIn could be a valuable platform for women looking to find mentors who can help guide them through career challenges, share insights, and provide opportunities. Mentorship isn’t just about having someone to turn to—it’s about gaining the confidence to make better decisions and advocate for oneself more effectively.
Lisa, who has benefited from informal mentorship throughout her career, also shared how seeking advice from more experienced individuals helped her navigate her own professional journey. She emphasized that mentorship doesn’t always have to be formal—it can be as simple as having a trusted colleague or friend to turn to for guidance and support.
Key Takeaways and Next Steps
As the meeting wrapped up, the group discussed actionable steps for improving work-life balance and fostering a more supportive and inclusive environment for women. Here are the next steps:
Read “Fair Play”: To better understand the impact of mental load, attendees were encouraged to read "Fair Play" by Eve Rodsky, which offers insights into the invisible work many women carry and how to better distribute household responsibilities.
Seek Mentorship: Attendees were encouraged to explore LinkedIn for potential mentors and build connections with professionals they admire.
Speak Up in Meetings: It was also recommended that women practice speaking up in meetings, even if their voice shakes. Confidence grows with practice, and speaking up is crucial for professional advancement.
Evaluate Work-Life Balance: Lastly, attendees were asked to reflect on their current work-life balance and identify ways to distribute mental load more equitably within their households.
Finding the right balance between work and family is a challenge that many women face, particularly in male-dominated industries. The conversation highlighted the importance of self-advocacy, supportive work environments, and mentorship in navigating these challenges. It’s essential for women to recognize their worth, prioritize family time, and actively seek the support they need to thrive both personally and professionally. By sharing experiences and strategies, we can all contribute to building more inclusive, flexible, and understanding workplaces where women can flourish.
Let’s continue to advocate for ourselves, support one another, and create environments that allow us to succeed in both our careers and our personal lives.
Watch our virtual meet-up with Toni on our member’s portal to dive deeper into work-life balance: https://www.empoweringwomeninindustry.com/virtual-meet-up-toni-neary
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